| |
Happy
Independence Day
to my neighbours
to the South.
To my friends in
Montana, all I
have to say is
that your State
Government is
totally fucked
up. I guess you
guys must have a
horrendous meth
problem down
there, if they
have to post
ad's like the
one below on
billboards
across the
state. If your
interested in
the story, and
would like to
see more of the
States drug
campaign against
meth,
click here.
If you haven't
already been to
bing.com,
stop whatever
the hell you are
doing and go
there now. You
have heard about
Bing right? I
guess you would
have to be under
a rock not to.
Bing really
wants to steal
the search
engine market
away from Google
and they
realized that
the only way to
do this would be
to build an
awesome search
engine. And
guess what, they
did!
Have a question,
ask
WolframAlpha.
Have no idea
how WolframAlpha
works?
Here's how.
I guess some of
you already know
that I recently
got my first
Macbook. It's a
nice little toy,
unless you are
heavily into
gaming or
programming,
in which case,
this is what you
could use it for.
(Special thanks
to Tim for
making such a
joyous occasion
of opening my
first Macbook
seem to
irrelevant).
I took Tim out
to lunch for
hooking me up
with most of the
links in this
post, and he
just had
the soup of the
day.
I honestly
thought my kids
were pretty
smart when they
were two years
old. I mean they
could barely
talk, barely
stand, barely
walk, and their
hand to eye
co-ordination
was pretty
shitty. However,
most kids at
that age are the
same. Unless you
are this kid,
who not only can
light up a
cigarette, he
can ALSO SMOKE
IT.
Some people just
have no common
sense. I mean,
if you have pubs
longer then 1/2
inch,
trim those hairy
bastards!
(_?_) Dumb Ass
What a week its
been.
First
Mr. Ed McMahon,
then Farrah
Fawcett, and
then Michael
Jackson.
I really have no
comment to make
on the first
two, however, on
MJ... Leading up
to his death,
every news story
was about his
financial
problems, his
alleged child
molestation
problems, his
plastic
surgeries, his
bleaching of his
skin, and so on.
Yesterday, it
was ‘The King of
Pop’ and how he
was a legend.
The media has a
way of
distorting
reality don’t
they. Yes he was
a pop sensation,
however, he was
still a dickwad
for paying off
so many people
for making his
legal problems
go away. The
End.
I have been
editing the site
this past week,
and I have taken
down a lot of
the older
material. I
check my inbox
this morning and
someone
kindly sent me
this letter.
I thank them for
the fan mail,
however, dickwad,
get your own
material!
You
think you have
the worst job in
the world.
Well you don’t.
This stupid son
of a bitch has
to take orders
all day from
cranky women,
and work 14 hour
days, in closed
situations. Poor
Bastard!
The NBA
has a slogan
which is ‘STAY
IN SCHOOL’.
The NBA are a
bunch of
hypocrites to
me. Tell that to
LeBron James.
Hey LeBron,
screw the 90
million, brush
up on your
biology. If the
NBA really
wanted to
promote staying
in school, and
they weren’t
hypocrites, at
the All-Star
Game instead of
a slam-dunk
contest, hold a
spelling bee for
the players.
It’d be more fun
to watch, I
guarantee. What
would be more
fun to watch: A
basketball
player dunking
again, or Allen
Iverson trying
to spell
‘receipt.’
Black
Eyed Pea’s
Manger Boom Boom
Pows Perez...
The altercation
happened at an
after hours club
in Toronto, when
Fergie walked up
to Perez to ask
him why he is
always slamming
her on his
website. The
conversation
went something
like this:
Fergie walked up
to Perez and
said, “Why you
hating on me
Perez”
Perez: Cause you
suck bitch
Fergie: Oh no
you didan’t, I
don’t suck
Perez: Yes you
do Fergie, you
suck, and your
scared of homo’s
Fergie: You
trying to ruin
my swagger Perez
Perez: Fuck you
Fergie, you’re
ugly
Fergie: I am
not, I am pretty
(as she played
with her hair)
Perez: Get out
of my way as I
am high society
and you are not
At that point,
Perez walked
away and Fergie
went back to
Will I Am and
told him what
had just gone
down. Turns out
at the
after-after
party, Will I Am
had an
altercation with
Perez.
Will
I Am claims some
fans punched
Perez in the
face.
Here's
a
picture pf Perez
getting
punched.
Perez says,
violence is not
the answer,
no one should
ever punch
anyone, that is
how people die.
Asshole, you
shit on so many
people, serves
you right to get
what was coming
to you.
What the fuck,
Canadians say
being slightly
overweight means
you will live
longer. More
news,
being overweight
rises the risk
of pancreatic
cancer.
|
So it's Wednesday June
10, 2009 in the
beautiful city of
Toronto, however, it
feels more like November
10 2009. With all this
rain we have been
getting, not to mention
the sub-zero
temperatures, this
summer is turning out to
be pretty crappy. I
should have known that
when I started in May
calling this 'The summer
of Ajay' this would
happen (reference taken
from Seinfeld). Well,
its cold, and I'm sad.
Just like the people in
Latvia. Why would they
be said? You have to
ask, they live in Fuckin
Latvia, that's reason
enough. Anyways, the
people of
Latvia decided to do
something about it. They
just recently held their
first annual “Blonde
Parade” in the
capital city of Riga.
The locals decided to
fight the “blues”
associated with their
serious economic
contraction with an
overwhelming touch of
“pink” instead. Pictures
below.
On Sunday, a
procession of
more than 500
blondes paraded
through the
capital Riga
wearing pink and
white. Many were
escorted by lap
dogs wearing the
same cheerful
hues. Their
goal: to use
their beauty to
shine a little
light into the
dark mood caused
by the global
downturn. |
 So
I got my hands
of the new
Chickenfoot
album (Sammy
Hagar - Michael
Anthony - Joe
Satriani - Chad
Smith),
surprising
called
Chickenfoot.
Surprisingly, it
sounds nothing
like Van Halen.
The
ablum
sounds a lot
harder, and the
guitar solos are
amazing.
The difference
is that there's
more thunder and
drive to the
songs. The
instruments are
doing more, if
you can believe
it. Satch's
tangential
fretwork is
extravagant and
amazing
throughout.
I've
always been a
huge Sammy Hagar
fan, I mean if I
was trapped on a
deserted island
and allowed 3
albums to take
with me, I would
pack 5150 for
sure.
Chickenfoot
is the best
thing to happen
to rock music in
years. There's
not a bad song
on the album and
it rocks from
start to finish.
Truly worthy of
the title "Supergroup,"
let's hope they
stick around for
a while and
don't end up a
flash in the
pan. Rock needs
bands like this |
Poison performed at this
years Tony's. I'll admit
I was a huge Poison fan
way back in the day,
however, at the awards,
they sung
(if
you call lip-syncing
singing) Nothing
But A Good Time - first
mistake, they should
have sung something new.
Second mistake was Bret
Michaels should have
walked off stage a lot
quicker, instead of
show-boating with fans,
as when he did decide to
walk off, he almost got
his head taken off.
Now I do not claim to be
a genius, however, if
your driving an
ambulance, and you have
a heart attack victim in
the back, and you
suddenly realize that
your 15 minutes over
your shift, what do you
do? Well a driver in the
UK diverted the
ambulance to his depot
instead of carrying on
direct to the hospital.
He then clocked out and
another driver finished
the run to the hospital.
This added 4 extra
minutes to the trip, and
caused the patient in
the back to be announced
DOA when they arrived at
the hospital.
This lead's me to
conclude that the driver
is one of the stupid
assholes on the planet!
How do you get charged
with flight from police
and theft over $5,000.
You steal an ambulance
and take it for a wild
ride,
just like John Hamilton
Buchanan did.
Finally, on a much more
serious note, my budding
Greg is raising money
for Cancer.
If you have the ability
to give, please do,
as a little goes a long
way. Good Luck Greg with
your relay.
|
 Hello
Internet, it's been two
weeks since we last met,
and in that time a lot
has gone on. First let's
talk about Rihanna. I
remember when I
first got a glimpse of
her in the
umbrella..ella...ella
video. She was
smoking. Then came the
Chris brown fiasco.
Which I still can't
figure out till today.
But in the end she ended
up dumping the screwball
(innocent till proven
guilty
remember). Then late
last week, the pictures
surfaced
(She
took pictures of herself
nude with her cell phone
- 'nude' being the key
word, so obviously they
are not safe to look at
while you are at work).
I for one think they are
fake, however, it's
still my job to comment
on them. So, Rihanna,
keep your clothes on
please! Not very
flattering if you ask
me. |
 Now
we can move on to my
next topic. Ms.
California (Carrie
Prejean). Carrie, oh
Carrie, so close to
obtaining the Ms. USA
crown, yet so very far!
First, she lied on her
application, saying that
she had never posed nude
(photos
were leaked earlier last
week), then Mr.
Trump overlooks the fact
she lied (way'd it go
Trump, you horny mother
fucker you, I agree
she's totally hot).
Finally she speaks from
her heart, which in the
end cost her the crown.
(Having negotiated
earlier rounds of
modeling in a swimsuit
and evening gown, she
was down to the final 15
and had to answer a
single question from one
of the panel of five
judges. Prejean picked
celebrity blogger Perez
Hilton, who is openly
gay and calls himself
'queen of all media'.
Hilton asked her:
'Vermont recently became
the fourth state to
legalize same-sex
marriage. Do you think
every state should
follow suit. Why or why
not?' Prejean paused for
a moment before
replying:
'Well, I think it’s
great that Americans are
able to choose one or
the other. We live in a
land where you can
choose same-sex marriage
or opposite
marriage.'She continued:
'And you know what, in
my country, in my
family, I think that I
believe that a marriage
should be between a man
and a woman. 'No offence
to anybody out there,
but that’s how I was
raised and that’s how I
think it should be -
between a man and a
woman. Thank you very
much.' So proud of
her for sticking to her
morals, however, Perez
then goes on his blog
and calls her a “Dumb
Bitch”. Needless to say,
she didn't win the
crown.)
I love you Carrie!
She should have won! |
.
Did I mention that
Megan Fox is one of the most
beautiful women on this planet.
Well here she is on the set of
her new movie.
I needed a hammer today, and all
I needed to do was break a glass
to get one. That's almost as
fucked up as the time
I was going to Montreal and
needed directions. Needless
to say, I got lost, and I didn't
get the hammer.
| Last week,
on a dark desert
highway,
downtown
Toronto, a whole
bunch of
assholes
gathered to
protest the
Tamil Tigers in
some far off
land. Now, don't
get me wrong, I
have nothing
against
fucked
up stupid
protesters,
as long as they
obey the law and
stay the fuck
out of my way
while I'm
driving/walking
by them.
Anyways,
they shut down
the highway for
hours and
caused massive
traffic backups
out of the
downtown core
(highly illegal
by the way).
Instead of
sending in the
swat team with
bullets, tear
gas, chainsaws,
hammers, bats
(whatever is
needed to get
the job done),
the liberal
leader tells
them he will
take their cause
to the Federal
Government.
Asshole, they
were doing
something
illegal, and you
gave in to their
demands. You
just opened the
door for any
group to take
their cause to
the street and
cause havoc.
All you had to
do is send in
one of these.
The
result would
have been this,
which from what
I am told is
bio-degradable
(I could have
put the ashes on
my lawn to kill
the weeds).
Job well done. I
think I am going
to run for
office, and have
Ms. California
as my running
mate. |
|
 I
recently picked a new
primary care doctor
(because mine retired).
After two visits and
exhaustive Lab tests, he
said I was doing 'fairly
well' for my age. A
little concerned about
that comment, I couldn't
resist asking him, 'Do
you think I'll live to
be 80?' He asked, 'Do
you smoke tobacco, or
drink beer or wine?' 'Oh
no,' I replied. 'I'm not
doing drugs, either!'
(So what I lied about
the beer and wine, like
you have never lied
before). Then he asked,
'Do you eat rib-eye
steaks and barbecued
ribs? 'I said, 'Not
much... my former doctor
said that all red meat
is very unhealthy!' 'Do
you spend a lot of time
in the sun, like playing
golf, sailing, hiking,
or bicycling?' 'No, I
don't,' I said. He
asked, 'Do you gamble,
drive fast cars, or have
a lot of kinky weird
sex?' 'No,' I said. He
looked at me and
said,...
'Then, why do you even
give a shit?'
|
Do you have the Swine Flu? If
you do, go down to Mexico for a
vacation (like you have anything
better to do). Tell the resort
when you get there on the second
day that you have contracted the
flu, and
they will give you 3 more trips
to the resort on them. Word.
Beat the system. If you don't
have the Swine Flu, stay the
hell away, as the 3 trips is not
worth the risk!
Dickwad of the Post Award goes
to: A 26-year-old Phoenix man
who accidentally killed himself
early Sunday while explaining
gun safety to two Sierra Vista
residents. Samuel Benally Jr.
was at an apartment on West
Tacoma Street when he said guns
should be kept unloaded because
people could point them at their
heads, said Sierra Vista police
Sgt. Brett Mitchell. Benally
then demonstrated by putting his
own 9mm Ruger, which he believed
to be unloaded, to his head and
firing it.
Boom Boom Pow... and that's the
end of Mr. Benally Jr.
Popeye's Chicken actually ran
out of chicken. Well a few
of their franchise restaurants
in New York State did. There was
a special going on, where you
got a free piece of chicken if
you ordered a meal deal.
Patrons were outraged and pissed
at Popeye's because they
didn't have enough chicken. One
person even asked “How he was
going to feed his family
tonight”? Dude, if your feeding
your family deep fried chicken,
you certainly have problems. On the same
subject matter,
Oprah gave away coupons that
could be used at participating
KFC restaurants in the US.
Unfortunately, “participating”
should have been highlighted,
since riots broke out at dozens
of KFC restaurants that refused
to honour her web-printable
coupon.
The results are in and “I am not
the Father!!!!”. Thank the lord!
Neither is my 13 year old buddy!
Turns out the 15 year old tramp
was sleeping around, and another
boy who is 15 is the baby's real
father! Kids having kids....
what's wrong with the world we
live in. Jesus, lord please help
us. The real Jesus,
not the guy standing on a church
pretending to be Jesus.
Not the guy hanging out in cheep
sleazy motel hallways. Not
the guy who
hangs out in shady pool halls
and preys before making every
shot. Not the
woman posing in front of a
Chippendales sign.
Maybe
this little girl?
Well that's it from me on this
gorgeous Friday. Got comments,
well send them over. Got
Pictures, please send them over.
Remember, in the words of Billy
the Kid: “I'll make you famous”.
|
OK people, the first AjayOnLine contest
is finally over.
Congrats to all the finalists!
The little mob-boss has picked
the winner. Drum roll please, and the
winner is Antenna Guy! He climbed an 80
foot tower to get his picture taken
(even though that's probably illegal)
wearing a sign around his neck.
Congrats to Antenna
Guy, let
me know which prize you want, and it's
yours. You also get to be the poster
child for the site for the month.
You know
growing up, I was never really good
at sports or athletic activities,
however, I never did try to play ping
pong. I think I might have enjoyed it,
as it doesn’t require me going outdoors,
and if you play it right, you can stand
in one spot and
not even perspire. If I would have
played ping pong,
I would surely act like this guy.
It’s a little excessive, I know,
still... In your Face! Speaking about
growing up, one of the first jobs I ever
had was
washing windows.
It sucked ass, and I remember, I was
getting paid a whole $3.15 per hour. I
was pretty shitty at it, probably as bad
as that guy.
I always wanted to
take Karate lessons and
become a ninja, however, my parents
had other plans for me!
This summer,
Metallica, Def Leppard, Poison, Warrant
and Cheep Trick
are touring. What did I do, walk through
a time machine and end up in Grade 9
again?
Reminiscing on the past, I
came across this and it brings me
back to the 80’s, the era of Glam Rock
and Roll!
 So do you think they should ban
Bring your
kids to work day? I mean, the
last thing I need are some brats walking
around my office touching all my shit
and fucking with it? That’s just my
opinion, I know not all kids are jerks,
however, most are! I think Sgt. Walter
Schmidt would totally agree with me! You
are probably asking who the fuck is Sgt.
Walter Schmidt? He’s a Florida
corrections officer who was fired after
zapping some co-workers children
(that's
right children, plural, he tasered two
kids) with 50,000 volts of
electricity during a “Take Our Daughters
and Sons to Work Day”.
In the Sgt's defence, he says the
parents gave him permission to shock the
children with a handheld stun device.
What kind of sicko gives permission to
someone to taser their kids?
 What happens when you take two of the
most beautiful women on the planet and
put them in a room together?
"Beautiful Liar" is what happens.
Have no idea what the hell I mean?
Watch this. I saw
Shakira on the tele weeks later, and
dam did she gain some weight!
I could hardly recognize her!
People will do anything to get on TV or
become famous!
I was reading some stupid facts today,
and I thought I would share some of them
with you. A duck's quack doesn't
echo. No one knows why. 40 percent of
McDonald's profits come from the sales
of Happy Meals. Michael Jordan makes
more money from Nike annually than the
entire Nike factory workers in Malaysia
combined. The average person's left hand
does 56% of the typing (my right hand is
busy doing other things :)
Finally, if you have
not seen the new Depeche Mode
video for their song "Wrong", its
definitely worth watching!
|
People, first of all
THANK YOU to all of you who entered the "Jesus Pose"
contest. This past Monday a team of 20
PhD's finally got together and chose the best 5 (ok I
lied, my son picked the best 5 he liked). Anyways,
without any further ado, here they are in no particular
order:
If you've got a favorite, please send me a
quick note letting me know what you think of
them. Final winner will be announced next
post There's a
LINKSYS MEDIA EXTENDER in it
for the winner (and if they do not have a Vista
Machine, they can substitute it for a new
iPod Shuffle.)
A man in a wheelchair who was struck by
a Route 47 bus at Eighth Street and
Girard Avenue on Friday afternoon.
Milton Boneta, 61, was crossing Eighth
Street in his motorized wheelchair when
the bus hit him while making a left
turn, police said.
In a tragic twist of fate, police said,
Boneta lost a leg in September when a
SEPTA bus hit him near the same location
ROYAL PALM BEACH — When Lorena Alvarez
noticed her boyfriend didn't come home,
she piled her kids in the car and went
to look for him. When she found
him, sitting in his pick-up truck in the
parking lot of a Winn-Dixie in suburban
Lake Worth, she pulled up her car to his
- then slammed into it, according to a
Palm Beach County Sheriff's report. With
her in the car were her two sons, ages 7
and 1, as she rammed her car into his
several times. Lorena Alvarez is
charged with two counts of cruelty
toward a child and one count of
aggravated battery.
Alvarez admitted that she hit her
boyfriend's car. She told
authorities that he was drunk and she
was worried he may try to drive off. She
said she hit him to prevent him from
driving.
I bullshit you not, here's the story!
So why the hell did it take so long for
this post to come out? Well I was
on vacation for a while in April, and
when I got back, I was still in vacation
mode. As well, the laptop I do my
updates on decided to call it quits. While I was away,
the Shamwow guy was arrested for
assault!
Mr. Shamwow says
a prostitute bit his tongue while
kissing him, so he had to punch her to
get her to let go. For your
information, the only good terrorist,
is a
dead terrorist! I think he
died while he was trying to blow up
Springfield (he really hates Homer).
If you have never been to New York,
this is what you are missing!
Have you ever taken a picture, or been
in a picture that you thought would come
out nice. Then you find out some
asshole fucked it up,
like this one, or
this one, or even
this one.
I took my kids to the dollar store, and
I found some toys for ya'all (very
cheep). Well,
what do you think this looks like?
And the box even boasts about the
impressive 7.5” length. This is a
fluid-filled rubber tube that’s a little
on the limp side for insertion, but
could double as a jelly dildo in a
pinch. What you can’t see is that the
tube also has a hole running through the
center of it, so a guy could lube it up,
insert his dick, and use it as a
masturbator.
This is a fun toy for a kinky couple.
Use it in place of a crop, flogger, or
slapper to smack your partner’s ass. It
will leave a hand-shaped imprint, make a
loud sound, and it lights up too.
Just like
those super-stretchy cock rings that
fit around the base of your dick and
balls. These ones are covered with
tickly little tentacles. We also found a
stretchy, fluid-filled ring called the
“Squeeze Donut” that could be put to
similar use. Why pay
more for nipple clamps when these
will do just fine? There should be a
variety to choose from, so you can find
a size and pressure that you’re
comfortable with. Some stores also carry
wooden clothespins. The nice thing about
the magnetic clips is that you can use
the magnets to attach a little bit of
weight, or you can stick your sub’s tits
to the fridge.
Have I ever mentioned, that
I Love Megan Fox!... (P.S. you are
welcome). I used to love Britney
until she started doing a whole lot of
crazy shit.
Here
she forgets to tuck in her tampon string!
The
$200,000 white wedding for the
16-year-old girl who lives in a trailer.
What Daddy's little girl wants, Daddy's
little girl gets. So when Missy Quinn
insisted on a big white wedding with her
boyfriend, her father said YES. It
didn't matter that she was only 16 and
the groom 17. Daddy also said yes to a
$32,000 wedding dress (which looked
suspiciously like a crop top and skirt)
and yes to 150 guests at the reception.
Then there were the cars, the hotels,
the tiara and the $10000 bouquet!
Check out the belly-ring ... it matches
her earrings! So sophisticated.
In the end, making Missy's wedding
dreams come true cost her father - who
lives in a trailer and surfaces
driveways for a living - a whopping
$200,000! But as his princess, who
hasn't been in a classroom since she was
nine and wants to be a glamour model
(good luck), posed for photographs, her
father Simon, 35, declared it was worth
every penny. 'I'm very proud of her
today,' he said.
A FISH
swam the wrong way when
it leapt upstream into a boy's PENIS and
ended up in his BLADDER. The 2cm
daredevil
caused all kinds of medical problems
when it swam through the teenager's
urethra.
This
song is stuck in my head! Well
it's that time of year again...
Hockey Playoff time... who cares!
Well that's it for me today, if you got
some pictures / links / news stories /
comments, whatever you think is worth
sharing,
please send them over! Have a
good one people! |
|
|
|
|
Good
Afternoon People... Just
a quick one today to
announce this: A
22-year-old California
virgin auctioned off her
virginity online for
$3.8 million. She
has yet to meet her
winning bidder in the
flesh - because his wife
won't let him.
